I can honestly say that my husband is my best friend.  There is no person on earth with whom I’d rather spend time! When we first met, we naturally wanted to spend as much time together as possible. We talked, we shared, we loved…and our friendship grew. It is this way in the beginning of most marriages. But why is it that sometimes, the friendship that blossoms at the beginning of marriage seems to wilt over the years? Is it because we get too busy with “life” that we take who should be our best friend for granted? Possibly. Or, do we simply not take the time to intentionally cultivate our friendship, and our best friend status fades? Maybe our attention turns to our children or family responsibilities. Many things can distract us from our relationship as husband and wife. However, it doesn’t have to be that way! We can have a vibrant, growing friendship with our spouse in any season of our marriage if we give our relationship the attention it deserves.
That is what my husband and I decided to do…to give our marriage top priority. And, what we discovered is that being best friends with each other is one of the greatest perks to have in marriage! Not only do we get to love and live with our best friend, we have a built in encourager as we face every challenge and joy in our day! We don’t have to handle things alone, we have a best friend who is by our side. 

One of the main things we have learned about friendship over the years is that to have a friend, we need to be a friend. The things that we desire from friendship are quite often the things that our spouses want as well because the human heart longs for healthy companionship. A great exercise is to make a list of the qualities that say “best friend” to you, and then be that friend for your husband or wife. 

“Do to others as you would like them to do to you” (Luke 6:31).

The list of things that have developed and kept our friendship with each other as a “best friend status” is simple, really. Each is based on mutual respect and the desire to have all God intends for our marriage. 

  • Make being best friends a priority 
  • Put the marriage friendship first 
  • Have fun together 
  • Encourage one another 
  • Listen to each other 
  • Don’t judge or make demands 
  • Forgive and extend grace 
  • Show respect and honor for each other 
  • Make and spend time together 
  • Take an interest in what your spouse enjoys 
  • Be honest and hold each other accountable 
  • Love one another 
Basically, it is living out Christ’s “golden rule” and offering to our spouse what we ourselves most desire. May you find that as you live out the qualities you long for in your friendship with your spouse, your relationship with each other will flourish and you will enjoy a marriage abundant with God’s blessings! 

Celebrating life with my best friend, 

12/20/12 - Water to Wine Marriage, Joan Davis

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  1. This is great, my husband and I need this right now. Thank you for the reminder and the tips. Marriage is a wonderful blessing that takes work. Visiting from Thought Provoking Thursday :)

  2. And you can even do all these things when they are on the other side of the world. :) But I do miss my best friend. Great post, Joan. I hope to one day meet both of you.

  3. Hi Beth! Isn't it amazing how we are still able to communicate with our loved ones when they are far away? What a blessing for you and your best friend, especially during this difficult season! I hope to meet the two of you one day, too!

    Blessings, Joan

  4. I agree. Marriage is a beautiful blessing to nurture and cherish. Things aren't always easy, but with God, all things are possible!

    Blessings, Joan

  5. Love this, Joan! I would add that you should make sure to pray out loud with your spouse every day.

    Thanks for linking up at Thought-Provoking Thursday! :)

  6. Sharita KnoblochMarch 14, 2014

    Perfect and powerful list, Joan! So VERY important for us to remember as the years fly by, kids come and go... Best Friendship with our spouse is vital! Blessings, sweet sister.

  7. Hi Joan, I'm blessed to be able to say my husband is my best friend too. We just love hanging out together. We even ran a consulting business together for many years . . . and it was great! I agree with every item on your list. Huge ones for us is we keep flirting with each other a high priority, say "I love you" often, and build the other up in front of others.

    We celebrated our 42nd anniversary this past week, and we're praying for many many more to come.

  8. charlotte71March 16, 2014

    I love this post. My husband is my best friend too. It is sad that so many couples drift apart over the years. It is refreshing to hear of ones who are closer today than they were when they first married. Thank you for sharing this with us on Spiritual Sundays and thank you for being my friend.

  9. Congratulations on your 42nd anniversary! What a blessing to be with your best friend for that wonderful number of years!

    Blessings, Joan

  10. Hi Charlotte!

    Yes, I've learned that to have a friend we need to be a friend...and that is so true in marriage! Blessings to you, Charlotte...and your best friend, too!

    Through Christ, Joan

  11. Good reminders...I would say my husband is my best friend too and I am his. In Oct. we will be married 50 years which seem impossible to both of us. I know we are at a better place in our marriage then our early years. Good post.

  12. Congratulations on almost 50 years! That is fantastic! But even better is that you are each other's best friends. That's the way it should be as it is the way God designed marriage to be! Blessings to you and your husband!!

    Thankful, Joan

  13. Grace...yes. That is the glue that holds everything together. I love Ruth Bell Graham's quote: "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” That is so, so true!


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